10 Coaching Questions for Enneagram 9's
Can't we all just get along?
According to the Enneagram Institute, Enneagram Type Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.
We have called personality type Nine The Peacemaker because no type is more devoted to the quest for internal and external peace for themselves and others. They are typically “spiritual seekers” who have a great yearning for connection with the cosmos, as well as with other people. They work to maintain their peace of mind just as they work to establish peace and harmony in their world. The issues encountered in the Nine are fundamental to all psychological and spiritual work—being awake versus falling asleep to our true nature; presence versus entrancement, openness versus blockage, tension versus relaxation, peace versus pain, union versus separation.
(*Definitions are from The Enneagram Institute. You can take a free enneagram test here if you are interested.)
Nines are gracious. They can see many sides of an issue and the value each facet brings. Their presence is peaceful and assuring.
9's as coaches are excellent listeners. They will not be tempted to impose their will or their thoughts on someone else. They provide a safe space for processing.
9's being coached likely will need encouragement to make decisions, especially if they involve any sort of boundary setting or confrontation.
Here are 10 questions for 9's:
1) Where are you called to bring peace? 9's exude calm and stability. What arenas can you bring that to - it is work, home, extended family, school, or somewhere else? Identifying where you feel called to can bring clarity to your purpose.
2) Who could personally benefit from your calm? Now, go a little farther. Who specifically needs your influence, your calming presence?
3) Is there anywhere you need assistance? Don't forget, you are a person too! It can be difficult for a 9 to ask for help as they fear disrupting the other person and yet 9's feel fulfilled when they can share their peace. Sharing any dissonance you feel or need you have can be a blessing someone else would love to give.
4) Is there a decision you need to make? 9's may avoid decision making especially if the decision would possibly disrupt or offend another person.
5) Is there anything you are minimizing? 9's can tend to make molehills out of mountains just to avoid conflict.
6) Where could you benefit from a boundary? It can be easier for a 9 to keep giving or not speak up when they need to just to "keep the peace". In reality, it is costly not to have healthy boundaries. Everyone benefits from clear communication.
7) How can you use your "powers" for good? People need peace. 9's can bring calm into a room or a conversation simply by asking some open questions, or even by making a joke to diffuse the tension.
8) How can you share what you are sensing? 9's can sense emotions and even see logic from multiple angles. If you can learn to share what you see in helpful ways it can be impactful.
9) Who is in your corner? Life can't be all about what you give. Who is listening to you and caring for your soul?
10) How can you remain fueled? 9's absorb stuff. They can easily absorb negativity by downplaying it, but it takes effort and it is important for 9's to refuel in calm places and with calming practices, maybe a walk in nature or good music or a hot bath on the regular help them be them.
9's who are coaches who can feel with people. They can empathize at a next level. They provide sanctuary.
9's being coached may need questions that help them care for themselves and make personal decisions including boundaries.
To learn more about your personal divine design check out our course Destiny by Design. For more on Coach Training and other Bridges Coaching offerings check out our Bridges Coaching home page.