Meet Eric: A Minster's Take On Coach Training!
Next up in our "Meet _________" series is my absolute favorite - my husband, Eric. He's been in this with me from the beginning, so I asked him a few questions.
How did you first hear about coaching?
I first heard about coaching from my wife, Cindy, who started Bridges Coaching. I must admit I did not understand it at first, and what I did not understand, I became skeptical about at first. I wanted to know how it came from a biblical foundation. Little did I know, Jesus used coaching regularly as He worked with His disciples in the Bible. I just needed to look for it!
What prompted you to take the training?
Because a large part of what I do in ministry involves caring for people, I was burned out. Eventually, I sought counseling help through a ministry called Care for Pastors in Orlando, Florida. My problem was that I was caring for people, but I was also carrying people. In time, the counseling and the coach training helped me let go of the ownership of a person’s problems and al...
Should I or Shouldn't I? And The Reasons That Drive Us
We all ask that question about a pile of things every day- little things, big things, present things, future things, relational things, tactical things, all. the. things.
Let's take a look.
Here are some common questions > Here are some common ways we reason.
Should I get a latte on the way to work? > It's been a rough week, any little extra comfort is worth it.
Should I talk to my friend about her situation? > Ah... She knows I am available if she needs me.
Should I pursue a different position? > If it's meant to be, it will come to me.
Should I finally start that project? > I'm not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze.
Should I be making any adjustments to my routine (diet, exercise, devotional patterns, joining a small group, investing more in retirement)? > I've got a lot on my plate right now, best not to upset the apple cart.
Maybe you have had some of these questions. Maybe you have reasoned some of these reasons.
The Proverbs are all about choosing well. In fact, mo...
How To Measure True Success?
There are a number of ways to measure success - maybe even an innumerable amount.
The world measures success by affluence, power, fame, or skills.
In God's kingdom, we measure it differently. Jesus said the "greatest" would be the servant of all. So, are believers supposed to measure success by how much we do for others? But wouldn't that be a "works" mentality?
Paul says in Galatians that the fruit of living in the Spirit is love, joy, peace, etc. So, should we be measuring success by our fruit?
In Coaching, it would be possible to measure success by whether or not SMART goals were effective in helping individuals reach their goals in a timely manner. Some would even define success simply as not failing.
Of course we should set goals, "without vision people perish(languish)", and there are plenty of scriptures about being lazy and about doing something wise with what has been given to us.
But here's the thing - our relationship with God is not, CAN NOT, be based on performan...
Top Ten Things Coaching Is NOT!
Maybe it is easier to say what coaching is not.... Here's a top ten we use in coach training.
Top Ten Things True Coaching Is NOT! (as per the International Coaching Federation and the Christian Coaching Network International - check out the What Is Coaching Blog)
#10 Coaching is not “One-size-fits-all”. It is not a program or plan that the Coach designs and offers to all. Coaching is individualistic because it recognizes that what worked for one person may not work for the next. Each person has a unique design and pathway. Coaching helps uncover that plan.
#9 Coaching is not diagnostic. Good Coaches do not decide what the problem is or what the focus should be, they ask good questions and help the person being coached to come to an “Ah Ha” moment where they recognize something on their own.
#8 Coaching is not prescriptive. People often want someone to just tell them what to do. (I know there are plenty of times in my life when I have wanted that.) Coaching does not tell. Inste...
What Is Coaching? [The Skinny and The Blunt Truth]
"What is Coaching?" I whispered to the rep from Southwestern Christian University when I was considering getting my Master's there.* I was a little embarrassed that I didn't really know.
How about you? Coaching is a buzzword and has been steadily gaining popularity since I first asked that question over 15 years ago.
Webster's primary definition for coaching is the noun version - like Cinderella's coach, or a stagecoach from the Wild West. In that case, coaching is a means to get from one place to another - like our modern-day Uber or Lyft. The second definition Webster gives is "a tutor" or "one who instructs or trains".
Here's the blunt truth. No one owns the word "coach," and it is used differently by different people. The first thing that probably comes to most people's minds is some sort of sports coach, or maybe a skills coach that trains you in a specialty area. Some nutrition and fitness coaches would fall into this definition as well. These type of coaches have their own pa...
Meet Sarah: Her Story from Coach training to Coach Trainer!
Sarah has been a part of Bridges Coaching from near the beginning. Like many, when she first looked into coaching, she thought she could help people by sharing what she was seeing. She had grown up in the faith and had considerable training, she wanted to care for others and help them grow in their faith.
Here's a bit of her story:
What motivated you to take coach training?
I took coach training because I wanted to help people. I had my ideas of what helping looked like, but those ideas got radically changed during that initial course. Turns out there is a far more effective, efficient, transformative way to help people!
What are a couple of things you learned that you didn’t know about coaching before your training?
The power of truly listening and the power of curiosity. For my entire life, I had underestimated how just those two things can create a space where problems get solved and creativity happens.
What did you love most about coach training?
Coach training didn't j...
What Do Passivity, Fear, and Indecision Have In Common?
Most of us understand that to move forward, we have to ... well, move forward. We have to take steps in order to achieve movement on whatever path is before us.
What is harder to come to terms with are the ingrained beliefs (poisons)that can hold us back from said movement. Let's explore these thoughts together. See if you can identify which, if any, of the following thoughts you have had personal experience with.
- If God wanted it to happen, He would ______________. Maybe it is a vocational shift of some sort, and you are waiting for it to come to you. Maybe it's about a relationship you would like to see go deeper, but you are holding back till the other person makes a move. You get the picture. You want God to make something happen. (Of course, there are cases when one is called on to be patient, but let's make sure it is God doing the prompting and not simply a lack of initiative on our part.)
- Antidote: Look at the desire in your heart and ask God for grace to take the ini ...
Where Is He When You Need Him?! [Always Circle-Pt2]
If we are honest, we have all asked that question in some form or another at some time in our lives. Probably multiple times. The Psalms carry this type of question on repeat.
I clearly remember reading "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and questioning this statement. "If there is a problem in your relationship with God, the problem is always with you and never with God." It seems clear to me now, but I was pretty angry when I first read it. I was trying to do the right thing so hard and yet feeling so distant.
Thoughts like these went through my mind. [Spoiler alert: These are very ugly, raw thoughts.]
- If He is really there for me/us, then why did "that" happen? (early death of friend or family member, mischaracterization, traffic accidents, abuse, poverty... the list could go on.)
- It doesn't feel like He is guiding my path when I am so confused about my next steps. (Or when I made a choice I thought was right, and things didn't work out.)
- I don't understand why provision ...
3 Kinds Of "Stuff" We All Face in Life
At Bridges Coaching, we use the Always Circle as a visual aid for a coaching journey. Good coaching involves three "always" things. Today, we are discussing the first one.
There's always going to be stuff.
And I think I have identified 3 kinds of stuff. Let's take a look.
1) External Stuff
The first kind of stuff is external. It comes from the outside. It is something that happens to us, Things like sickness, accidents, termination, misunderstandings, financial situations... basically any circumstances that come our way.
Dealing with the stuff of life can be difficult. Especially if there is more than one external source that we are facing at the same time. (There is often more than one for most people.)
External stuff is hard. It is not our choice. It is often a surprise. It can be chronic - lasting for lengths of time, or short-lived, but it certainly affects our well-being.
Good coaching helps us name what we are dealing with and focus on our stuff.
What are some things...
4 Ways Weeds Sneak In And Steal Growth
Jesus talked a fair amount about weeds. There are other biblical references as well.
It starts early, in fact. Genesis 3:18 introduces weeds as a consequence of sin, saying, "the ground will produce thorns and weeds..."
In the parable of the soils in Matthew 13, Jesus talks about how weeds are like worries and temptations. They distract us from the primary objective. Later in that same chapter is another story about weeds. This one is interesting in that Jesus says to go ahead and let the weeds grow alongside the wheat, only this time He is referring to weeds as people who don't follow Him. (The writer of Hebrews also refers to these people as weeds.)
Weeds are sneaky. Here are 4 ways they sneak in and steal growth.
1) They start small and can grow to overshadow the valuable plants they are near. They steal the needed connection to the sun.
2) They use resources the plant needs. The nutrients and moisture in the soil are diverted from the plant and spent on the weeds.
3) They ...