3 Instances When Coaching Is NOT The Best Option
Surprised?
It's true. Sometimes coaching is not the best option.
Of course, I'm a big fan, and coaching is likely best more often than we all use it, but there are times when it is not the best or right tool to use.
1- When someone needs to be taught something.
Recently one of our Next Level Coach trainees was talking about how his coachee didn't know what a SMART goal was. (If you are not sure check out our blog Demystifying SMART goals.) It's hard to help a client set a good goal when they are not sure of the parameters. In this case, it would be appropriate to "take off your coach's hat" for a time, give a brief explanation, and then ask clarifying questions that would help someone make a SMART goal.
Or maybe the teaching would be more in the form of a story. Many people deal with lies or limiting beliefs that hold them back from moving forward in all God has for them. In fact, I would go so far as to say most people deal with these. If someone is unclear on this concept, it would be appropriate to share a personal experience and ask if that would be something that could be valuable for them. (For more on this concept check out How to use the Freedom Prayer to work through Facts, Feelings, Lies & Truth (this blog includes a free worksheet with journal prompts.) In my coach training, we called these "one-minute messages". They were supposed to be just that - a very short offer of an idea as a possible avenue to explore.
It's almost mean or unkind to expect someone to know something when they have never been taught.
2 - When someone needs mentoring or consulting.
True mentoring is when a person has expertise in something and is willing to share or train another person. Consulting is similar, that's when a person has been trained in a certain pathway or procedure and they are willing to assess your structure and look for flaws.
You don't know what you don't know.
If someone needs a mentor or a consultant that is the service that should be sought out.
3 - When a counselor is needed.
Counseling has a rightful and valuable place in healthy spiritual lives. It is more diagnostic and prescriptive and deals more with healing from the past or healthy conflict resolution for the present.
If someone is looking for assistance in understanding how to deal with difficult interpersonal interactions, counseling is likely the best option!
Coaching is best used for people who want to move forward in a certain area.
Coaching is adult discipleship. It is helping people learn how to discern from God for themselves rather than stepping in for them.
People probably use other forms of helping more than necessary or longer than needed, but there are certainly times when coaching is not the best option.
We use the book Leadership Coaching, by Tony Stolzfus, as a textbook for our Life Coach certification course and highly recommend that book. Or, get the skinny on coaching with our self-guiding coaching book Traction and use it personally, as a couple, or with a team.