Imposter Syndrome: Two Myths & A Lie About Coaching
What is Coaching?
I get asked that a lot.
Maybe you've asked that as well, or you get asked that.
In the Coaching Culture certification course, we actually have a project where trainees have to give an elevator speech with their version of the answer. (An elevator speech is having an answer you can share with someone in the time it takes for an elevator ride.)
The ICC, International Coaching Community, website puts it succinctly like this:
Coaching has been defined in many ways. The essence of coaching is:
- To help a person change in the way they wish and help them go in the direction they want to go.
- Coaching supports a person at every level in becoming who they want to be.
- Coaching builds awareness empowers choice and leads to change.
There are plenty of other leadership or caregiving models that are not coaching - like teaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling. And they each have their place in a person's life.
Christian coaching uses a Biblical model of conversation. It doesn't share from the coach's wealth of education or experience. Rather, it trusts the Holy Spirit and provides a safe place for the person being coached to verbally process whatever they choose.
Coaching gets confused easily and often so let's look at two myths and a lie about coaching.
Myth #1 is: Life Coaches tell people what to do. They help them get their lives on track.
Many of our now certified life coaches came to take Bridges coach training with this foundational framework. They said things like, "I'm pretty good at motivating people and helping them know what next steps to take", or "I usually already know what people should do so I"d like to understand more how to get them there."
This kind of leadership is more like consulting. It takes the posture of a diagnosis and prescription being the responsibility of the coach.
Truth: Coaching is a conversational skill set that allows the coach to come alongside someone as they move forward in the way God has for them to move toward the goals they feel led to pursue. In true coaching, the person being coached decides not only the end goal, but the pathway and the pacing.
Myth #2: The best Life Coaches have experience or education in the chosen focus area. They need to know best what should come next.
In actuality, knowing a lot about a focus can actually be detrimental to coaching someone well. It can be challenging to remain unbiased about next steps if you want someone to do it the way that worked for you or the way you studied. While there is nothing wrong with offering ideas, the best coaching allows the person being coached to talk through options on their own.
Sharing your pathway or what you learned is more like being a teacher.
Truth: Coaching experiments have been done where the best coaching happened when the coach was focused more on listening and supporting than wondering if they should offer all their ideas.
A Lie About Coaching: Anybody can do it. The best lies are almost true, like good poison, they taste great but that last little bit will kill ya!
Truth: Every good coach needs training. While a person may have natural listening skills or be truly curious, knowing how to ask empowering questions, lean in with active listening skill,s and help someone make truly SMART goals does not come without good training.
If you want to truly help people learn to grow rather than have to know everything for them, coach training could be your next step!
Don't give in to the myths that telling people what to do or how to do it is actually coaching them.
You can take your care for people to a next level with coach training! Video courses or certification are available here.
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