Honest Ownership May The Most Important, and Most Neglected, Step
So, you've named your thing. You have decided on a goal, or named an obstacle you want to remove. Congrats!
The good news is that you can't move toward something till you name it, so good on ya! Yay!
But wait, there's more. Let me explain.
I can't tell you how often I have identified (named) a goal or an obstacle and felt strongly about it, only to see it fall by the wayside without a healthy assessment and then a plan for forward movement.
Here are a few examples from my life or others:
- That's it, no more sugar for me until I lose X pounds. What's wrong with me that I can't control myself?
- I see now that I keep thinking I am not enough, this pattern of thinking has cost me too much sideways energy. I can't keep facing life through this lens.
- Okay, I know God wants me to make that move! (or do that project, or start or finish that thing) This is going to be great!
- Here's the thing, this angst won't change until I talk to that person. I just need to do it.
Often there is a missing step between choosing a goal and making Action Steps. At Bridges Coaching, we use a model called the Coaching ROAD.
R stands for Recognition. This is the "naming" we talked about last time, where we choose one thing that is our focus to move toward.
O is for Ownership - that's where we are today. And this step is so valuable. Likely you have recognized a goal before and even made action steps, maybe even a SMART goal, but if you haven't seen real forward movement yet, it's probably time to stop here at Ownership and go deeper.
Ever hear the axiom "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Pastor Colin Davis shortened it to, "No change, no change". I like that.
The bottom line is that whatever you have named as your next is not just going to happen because you named it. That is a great start. And you are not very likely to achieve any goal without naming it, but now you need to own it.
Now What? So, I named where I want to go, but I'm still where I was...
"Owning" means not making excuses or blameshifting. We all probably do it. It sounds like a series of "if only"s. "If only I had more time, this would already have happened." "If only I were more aggressive." "If only I could just be at peace." "If only I weren't ___________" (Irish, or a woman, or too old or too young). "If only I had a mentor growing up.""If only I had a better education." The list could go on and on.
Change is not going to magically appear simply because you acknowledged that it needs to happen. (Ask anyone who has dealt with an addiction to clue you in on that!) Naming is great! Ownership comes next.
But ownership is hard. It doesn't come easy and for some, it doesn't come at all. Acknowledging that we are the only people who can change our lives is a big next step. You can do it, we can help!
We go into this concept at a deeper level in Coach Training.
Choosing to move forward will likely take a good hard look at what has been holding you back. Good Coaching takes you deeper. It is a lot more than simply naming a goal and making action steps. May God give us all discernment to see as He sees!
Good Coaching can help you move forward. Good Coach Training can help you, AND help you help others!