Step 4: Perhaps The Most Neglected But Most Valuable
So let's say you did it!
You achieved your goal!
You lost the weight or developed the new habit. You removed the lie and embraced the truth. You navigated a difficult conversation or built a bridge to a better relationship.
Whatever you did it took work!
Whatever you did it was worth the effort!
But now what? If your goal was not a project you were completing, you are susceptible to falling right back into your old ways. After all, you have spent more of your life doing whatever you did before than you have doing it the new way.
Just because you did it once, or even a few times, does not make it your new normal - yet.
(And even if the goal you achieved was completing a project of sorts, some of the following principles will still apply.)
What will it take to maintain your gain?l
At Bridges Coaching, we like to use two methods - Intentional Evaluation and Feedback. You can decide which would best suit your situation.
Intentional Evaluation is something you can do on your own but it takes - you guessed it - intentionality. It looks like setting up markers for yourself that we call yellow or red flags. A yellow flag for weight could be a certain number on the scale, a yellow flag in a new healthy emotional habit could be a flair-up resulting in hurt. Yellow flags usually are used to raise awarenss, and may result in a recommitment to whatever got you where you are. Red Flags go one step farther. They result in a major reset. If I have a red flag in my weight I need to go back to some hard-core practices to get back in the green zone.
You get the picture. If I want to maintain the gain I worked toward it will take intentional check-ins.
Feedback is intentionally inviting others into your success. Let's say you worked at not reacting in anger, healthy feedback invites others to speak up when they see you slipping back into old ways. There are two ways we talk about at Bridges - intentional and on the fly. Intentional is when you set up times to check-in in advance, like quarterly or monthly and you ask the person how you are doing. On-the-fly is exactly that. You give them permission to call you out when they see things you have invited them to observe.
Remember the projects goals? Even they can get stuck once they are finished. Just because you completed the book doesn't mean it will sell itself, or just because you bought the house doesn't mean it will be in good repair forever.
Don't let all that work slip away... Finish the Caoching ROAD with the D for Dedication!
Like Holme Dept says, "You can do it we can help!"
The Bridges Coaching team