When NOT to use coaching!
Coaching isn’t for everyone. There are at least three scenarios, or people groups, where coaching would not be a good fit.
#1) Ignorance or Immaturity
When someone is new to faith or unlearned in their faith walk it could be unkind to ask them questions beyond what they know or to leave them bumbling around when they simply need teaching.
People grow from discipling and teaching. They need help to know what quiet time looks like or how to study the Bible. They need to learn how kingdom ways are upside down from worldly ways. Selflessness does not come naturally to most.
Yet – even in the midst of these scenarios how a person walks out their response is best found in coaching questions.
What a healthy quiet time looks like is different from one person to the next, even how best to read the Bible has multiple quality options. Relating in right ways to others could mean patience or honest confrontation.
Teaching shares good options. Coaching helps people discern how God is leading them.
Another scenario coaching is not best for is
#2) Hurting
People who have been hurt need a doctor of sorts to diagnose their emotional symptoms and prescribe a pathway to health. Counseling works best for those who are stuck. It works for the hurting, who eventually can heal and become healthy.
Hurt could come from a:
- difficult childhood
- traumatic event
- betrayal
For the most part – hurt happens to you and dealing with it is a choice that may need the guidance of counseling.
A third type where coaching is not likely to work is when people are
#3) Unhealthy
Unhealthy people may need the clear call out of a faithful friend – a consultant of sorts who may need to say what they see. This is another approach type including diagnosis where the caregiver is proactive rather than using the come-alongside-method coaching offers. Unhealthy people may respond to confrontation or boundaries, but they are likely not ready for coaching.
Assessing whether a person could benefit from a coach approach rather than another type is paramount!
Coaching should likely be used more than another type of care or growth paradigm and is likely used less than any other type.
Here’s why:
- Immature or ignorant people should benefit from teaching and “graduate” to coaching.
- Hurting people should heal and then benefit from coaching.
- And unhealthy people may respond to a wake-up call, but may not benefit from any kind of caregiving.
What exactly is coaching?
Are you saying coaching is Biblical?
How do you shift from a top-down model to coaching?
These, and more, questions are answered in our Coach Training offerings.
Understanding Coaching leveled up my ministry effectiveness to where I was actually helping people instead of having the same conversations over and over.
Maybe it's just what you were looking for, maybe it's time.