3 Ways To Help Them Write Their Chapter
We are all writing our own stories. Each time we make a decision or avoid one, we are writing a new paragraph or starting a new chapter.
Whether we like it or not. Each day adds to the story. Some parts are comfortably predictable. One of my favorite parts is the end of the day when I sit in our loveseat and press the recline button, and the footrest comes out. There's a sense of rest that brings a satisfying "Ahhhh."
Some chapters are long-awaited, where we've saved up and planned for them - like a baby, a vacation, or even retirement. Other chapters come as a shock - like a sudden career shift, a loss, or an accident. Some are a good surprise - like a new relationship, a windfall or gift of some sort, or a hoped resolution coming to pass.
All chapters have choices.
Every story has a crisis. (Do you remember learning that in grade school?) Some crises come to us, and others are chosen, but every story has something that is happening in it. Every chapter is a small part of a bigger story.
And each of us plays a part in the stories happening around us. Whether or not we know it, we participate in one of three ways.
1) We avoid getting involved.
We either intentionally or unintentionally don't engage. It may or may not be deliberate. Perhaps we have tried to help in the past and felt shut out, or maybe we never noticed the situation. Whatever the root cause, we are dismissive and not inclined to weigh in conversationally.
2) We decide for them.
In this scenario, we have the plan and we intend to share it. We come in with a white hat on. We are often well-meaning, we believe we know what best should happen, and we find ways to "share." Many a gracious-hearted parent, pastor, friend, or mentor has felt a responsibility to solve someone's dilemma for them and tell them what to do.
Granted, there are scenarios when "telling" is the right thing to do, but more often than not, "telling" removes the responsibility for discernment from the person themselves. True discipleship helps people learn to discern for themselves and then walks with them through the process, even if we would choose differently.
3) We coach them.
Coaching may not be common language for a relational approach, but it is the healthy option. When we coach someone, we help them think through their situation. We actively listen for clues as to what their hearts are most concerned about. We ask empowering questions to help them become aware of how the Spirit is guiding them. We help the work through options. We assist in counting the cost of not doing anything or trying something.
Coaching comes alongside people with skilled conversational tools to aid in forward movement.
How's your story coming along? Could you use help with this chapter?
How are your people doing with their chapters?
The Coaching mindset comes naturally to a few, but most of us need training and practice!
Discover more about coach training here.
Select one of our Associate Coaches. to talk you through your current chapter choices.