Tackling The "If Only" Hurdle (O in the Coaching ROAD)
What if you could see your "if only" as a hurdle not a closed gate?
What's an "if only"? I'm glad you asked!
"If only's" are the mental obstacles that come up when you think about forward movement.
In Coach Training we categorize them in past, present, and future. They sound like this:
Past: If only I...
- grew up in a different family.
- hadn't gone through that trauma.
- didn't make that decision.
Present: If only I...
- had more money.
- had more time.
- had better support.
Future: If only I...
- could meet with that one person.
- had a connection.
- could live there.
Here's the thing. "If only's" rob us of what could be. They are like a chasm; we can build bridges to get over them. "If only's" are excuses that have dug a rut in our thought patterns. They are the obstacles we come up against when we think about the goal we want to move toward.
We've been talking about the Coaching ROAD. First comes R- recognizing the focus we want to pursue. Next comes O - ownership. If we make the "if only's" an insurmountable obstacle we get stuck right there. (Watch for A and D in upcoming blogs.)
We can't move forward when we are stuck!
We miss what God has for us when we see an "if only" as an obstacle and don't ask God how we can move forward. You can Own your future, you can walk down the ROAD.
Hurdles are not insurmountable. They don't need to be a closed gate. If God is guiding you toward something He WILL offer a plan. Ask Him how He can help you get over the hurdle?
Do you need to remove a recurring lie that holds you back?
Could you find help somewhere you haven't looked at yet?
Is there a miracle in the wings?
Here's one story where I needed to do all three! When I considered getting my master's degree we were in a place where we didn't have money to invest in anything extra. My husband and I agreed that going into debt for the degree was not a good idea since I wasn't looking at getting a better-paying job when I completed the work.
The Grad School rep challenged me with a coaching question. He said, "What could it look like for you to just do one semester or one class at a time as the funds became available?"
I took that thought to the Lord and felt His guidance to take that first step!
My lie was, "We don't have that kind of money, this could never happen." God met us there! My parents helped (and I was in my 40's so that felt a little weird, but I was also very grateful). I received some scholarship money for grad school recruiting. Random people contributed - and I am not one of those people with all kinds of miraculous provision stories.
It reminds me of when Indiana Jones takes that step of faith in The Holy Grail movie. He couldn't see that there was a bridge there. He had to step out in faith to experience the miracle.
What "if only's" come up when you think of your next step?