What Do You Want Your Middle To Look Like?
Middles are important!
They are, in essence, a type of bridge. A bridge connects one place to another. A middle does the same.
They can span the gap between one job and another, one relationship and the next, hurt and healing, an end to a beginning or a beginning to an end, and more.
Are you in a middle right now?
Most people are inn one way or another. So the question remains: What do you want your middle to look like?
Here are some options it could look like.
1) Angsty - It feels "responsible" to worry. I mean if wherever you are headed is important to you, shouldn't you be "concerned" about it.
2) Depressing - It can be overwhelming to think of how far it is to get there. The costs scream at you, "Is this really worth it?"
3) Confusing - You may not know exactly what got you into this middle, or you may not know exactly where it is that you will be when it is over.
4) Long - Usually there is not a clear deadline to the end of a middle. If you knew "it" would be over in a few days, or weeks, or even months, perhaps you could manage your energy and expectations better. Sometimes there is a dated end - like in the case of completing a school semester, but even in cases like that it can still feel l o n n n g.
5) Hurtful - There was probably something in your past that launched you into this middle season. A job or relationship that didn't work out, a move or transition, an accident or trauma, or even a choice to do a project.. It can be easy to focus on what went wrong, or is wrong, and expend a lot of energy looking backward and asking "Why?" questions.
Don't get me wrong, there is certainly a place for processing what was in order to move across the bridge to what is to come, but it's hard to move forward till you stop looking backward.
So what now? How do you go through a middle well?
Step 1: Recognize you are in a middle and embrace it.
"My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy" James 1:2
God always has something FOR us in the midst of whatever life deals us.
Step 2: Determine what got you into the middle. Ask God for clarity to process well.
Maybe it was something you did or didn't do that got you where you are.
Maybe it just happened to you.
"...you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need. But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you." James 1:2-5
Step 3. Be curious what God has for you in this middle season.
My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. So put out of your life every evil thing and every kind of wrong. Then in gentleness accept God’s teaching that is planted in your hearts, which can save you. James 1:19-21
Is there a desire He wants to highlight so He can fill it?
Is He offering to be your comfort or your courage?
Is He jealous of your focus - does He want to be your hope, your deliverer?
Step 4: Walk WITH Him!
More on this next time, but for now, consider your middle. Where have you come from? Where are you going? This kind of consideration is exactly what happens on the Coaching ROAD we teach in our Coach Training.
To be coached, learn about coach training or see our other offerings, check out the Bridges Coaching website.
Remember - God ALWAYS offers a plan. He wants to be with you in whatever middle you are in!