"Coaching for Dummies" with 3 Simple Questions
I have no idea if this book is any good, maybe you should give it a try, or we can cut to the chase and you can work with some version of these three simple questions.
- What are you hoping will happen?
- What are your options?
- What will you do?
We all do it.
We have a compulsion to be "tellers". Our hearts are probably right. We want to help people toward solutions. We want to save them the pain we had to walk through when we dealt with their "thing". We want to expedite the process.
But it's not the Jesus way.
Jesus asked us to make disciples, not dependents. That's really the heart of coaching. When we ask questions instead of teaching or telling we empower people to learn to discern God's voice in their own lives.
Here's how that works.
Recently I was talking with a co-worker who needed some advice. She was dealing with a tricky situation she needed to confront.
- I could have told her my stories of how I confronted situations like that in the past.
- I could have given her a resource about confrontations.
- I could have stepped in and taken care of the situation myself.
Instead, I asked questions.
"What do you think needs to happen?"
"What are your options?"
"What are you planning to do?"
It was an honor to be there for her. I truly cared what was happening and found what she needed was empathy first and then affirmation and encouragement.
I didn't need to draw attention to myself and my stories. I didn't need to "Wow" her with my list of resources and I didn't need to get involved in the situation except to listen, care and help her clarify her next steps.
Now, I get to walk with her as she works this all out.
Coaching is caring. it takes your leadership to a next level!
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