3 Ways To Keep That One Holiday Conversation From Getting Highjacked!
Not looking forward to certain conversations over the holidays? Let's talk about that friend or family member who is stuck. They have been thinking about doing something new or moving toward a goal, but they've been hovering around the idea or stuck in the hurt or habit for months, or maybe even years...
What if that holiday conversation could be something you looked forward to?
What if you could reframe that tricky topic as an opportunity to connect with God by sharing His deep love for that person?
What if you could slow down and feel Him close, for yourself, during this season?
The possibilities for engaging with the Light during this season are more available than you may realize. If you seek Him, He can be found! Here are 3 simple tips that could make all the difference!
1- Release control!
What?! I hear it. You don't think you want to control others, that sounds so.... controlling. What you really want is for them to "get unstuck", find traction and be able to move from wherever they are to wherever they want to be. (Or maybe wherever you want them to be?) The problem comes when we decide things FOR them. It's subtle, but we try to get them to see the pathway we see for them. (I mean, it's obvious what they should do right?)
HOWEVER - when we release them to choose their own next steps, their own timing, their own destiny, it is SO FREEING! It's also honoring and reflects God's offer of personal choice and free will!
It leads us to an easy Number two.
2- Be curious.
Just ask better questions.
Good questions are not back door tells - they don't try to get the person to do what you think they should do. These sound like, "Why don't you just ____________?" [Translation: Are you serious? Can't you see that the right next step is __________?] Instead, try "What are your options?" Let the person talk out their next steps and see where it goes.
Good questions are not leading questions - they don't try to get the person to move at the pace you want. They sound like, "Maybe you should just go for it?" [Translation: I'm tired of hearing you talk about this over and over and over. Just do it or don't!] Instead, try "How will you decide whether to do it or not?" Let the person weigh the timing consequences out as you give them space to share.
3- Give them the best gift ever - encourage them!
Even the most confident among us appreciate it when others believe in us. When we breathe life into someone's thoughts and dreams we bring Light into their dark places. We bring hope. We offer a safe place of trying. If the next they try doesn't work at least they can cross it off the list of possibilities, and if it does work they'll be glad they gave it a go!
Let them know you'll be there for them no matter what they choose.
This looks like Jesus to us, doesn't it? He is there for us when are insecure or we take longer than we should. When we extend His love, His patience, His kindness, we are conduits of His life. We can experience this for ourselves as well.
Think of these verses when you are in one of "those" conversations this season, and let His love live in you and flow through you.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Now, read the verses again but exchange your name for "Love".
Oh God, help me to BE love this season! And help me to experience Your great love for me in this season as well!
Good coaching helps us lean into what God has for us and help others to do the same!
Maybe the Traction book is just what they, or you, need to get unstuck?