The #1 Enemy Of Trust And Safety - Coaching Core Competency #4
Coaching Core Competency #4 is Cultivates Safety and Trust
It's just natural to judge. If we are honest we all have thoughts about others. We think they should move faster, prioritize differently, be more at peace, have more fun, or be more focused... and the list could go on!
We are all uniquely designed! (You can learn more about that here if you like. We are planning a new cohort launch soon!) We all have differing strengths and weaknesses, different callings and priorities.
If you have kids or grandkids it is quite evident. Some are quiet, some are competitive, some are artistic, and some are naturally funny. God did that. He made us all different.
And then He gave us free will.
Some of us go after goals hard and fast and others choose to focus on enjoying life. Neither is right or wrong if they are not in an extreme.
So what does this all mean in coaching?
As we explore Core Competency #4 Cultivates Safety and Trust, it means we provide a place where the other person can be themselves without judgment.
Judgment happens when we feel like we know best for someone else.
Good coaching is a judgment-free zone.
I work out at Planet Fitness and that is one of their taglines. Judgement free zone. [BTW - did you know it can be spelled with or without an "e".)
When I am at the gym, I feel celebrated just for showing up. I may not work out as hard as a younger person, and I certainly am not as strong or cannot last as long as others, but I am there!
When we coach we need to have that same perspective. Judging puts a wedge between us and others. It makes people feel the opposite of safety and trust - the foci of Core Competency #4.
When we do cultivate safety and trust:
- We make the conversation a place where the person can talk about whatever is on their mind or in their heart.
- We purpose not to respond in any way that would make them feel small for bringing something up.
- We guard against being shocked by any disclosure they make.
- We celebrate that they showed up.
- We don't compare them to ourselves or others.
- We partner with them - their goals, their plans, their processing.
Good coaching provides an opportunity for exploration of possibilities.
Whether we talk about obstacles, causes, or potential pathways, we always partner with the other person in ways that make them feel they can be completely open. It's kind of like prayer. God offers us a place we can bear our hearts and we can offer a place like that to others.
You can find more on this competency and all the other coaching competencies from a Christian perspective here.
Bridges Coaching offers a pathway to life coaching credentials, but we also help regular people have more productive and connected conversations. We help people help people make disciples, not dependents.