3 Little Words That Can Change Everything- Core Competency #6
Coaching Core Competency $6 is: Listens Actively.
At Bridges Coaching, we explore two pillars of coaching - Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. Our focus today is the former and needs to come first.
Here are a few clarifying facts about Active Listening:
- Active Listening is the opposite of Passive Listening (which is exactly what you are thinking it is.)
- Active Listening is perhaps the best way to love someone.
- Active LIstening is serving someone else. It shows them that their words are important and valuable, and their thoughts are worthy of being expressed fully.
- Active Listening requires intent focus, not just waiting your turn nicely.
- Active LIstening is truly curious.
- Active LIstening is a way to partner with the Holy Spirit to trust that God is indwelling the person speaking.
Think about it. When someone truly listens to you, you feel important, cared for, and valuable. When you are processing something and someone lets you truly share it is a true gift.
It is much more common though to think we are giving a gift when we interrupt and "save them the time" of working it out on their own and jump in with phrases like, "Well, you know what I would do if I were you?" or "Why don't you just _______?"
It's what we often give and rarely want.
Instead, try the three little words that can change everything. Give the gift of "Tell me more".
These three words allow the other person to choose the direction of the conversation, to linger on what is most important to them, and to go into more detail. They imply that you have time for the other person, you care about what they are processing, and even that you believe there is more to what they are saying.
God has an open invitation to all of us that says, "Tell me more." How loving is that?! When we reflect the other person's words being important to us, we are reflecting God's love to us.
Proverbs 20:5 (AMP) says, "A plan (motive, wise counsel) in the heart of a man is like water in a deep well, But a man of understanding draws it out."
Whether you are in a coaching session or a friendly conversation you can honor the other with these three little words.
Learn more about Bridges Coach Training here - it's not just for potential professional coaches, but we help them too.