Rethinking and Prethinking - The Crucial 4 Steps
Ever wish you could have a do-over? Maybe it was something you said or did, or maybe something you didn't say or didn't do. Whatever it was, you wish it didn't happen the way it did?
We're all human so it happens sometimes...
Some people choose never to look back. "No regrets," they say, but perhaps this isn't the best approach. If we can't learn from what has happened how can we ever show up the way we really want to be?
I propose the Rethink and Prethink method.
It goes like this.
1- You have a nagging thought that you wish something had gone differently. You choose not to stuff it, but to ask God to help you see what He has for you in it.
2- You choose to explore what happened. You lean into processing what caused you to say or do whatever you have concerns about. You explore your emotions and how you were triggered. You'll probably need to work through some hurt and likely forgiveness will be involved - receiving and giving. (for more on this step check out 4 Key Steps to Moving Forward)
3- You take time to consider how you would have liked that incident to go.
This step takes the most concentrated effort, but it can be so insightful, and even fun, too.
Go back to the incident and think about it as an observer. How could it have gone? Ideally, how would you have liked to see yourself move in that situation? Would you have spoken less or slower? Would you have excused yourself and said you needed time to think before your responded? Should you have shared your emotions, or maybe not shared them? Could you have asked clarifying questions with true curiosity?
4- You imagine what you want for the next time.
Inevitably you will have an opportunity for a do-over. You'll be placed in "that" situation again and you can show up differently. And it will be exponentially less challenging if you have gone through it in your head first.
What trips your trigger?
- Sarcasm that feels like an unkind, unclear, way to ask you for change.
- A needy request that feels like manipulation.
- Snide remarks.
- Unwholesome talk.
or even
- A prompt to do something new and different that you know is right for you, but you keep putting off.
What response would you like to have? If you are ready when the opportunity comes it won't take you off guard and since you have already practiced, so to speak, in your imagination, you'll be prepared to do whatever is best and not regret what you say or don't say.
Change CAN happen!
In fact, transformation is part of our faith journey. If you aren't changing you are likely missing something God has for you!
You can grow, coaching can help!
Check out our many ways to help at Bridges Coaching!