Alright! Let's Get Going! (Walk with me on my real-life journey!)
In this blog we will be looking at A- action steps on the Coaching ROAD, but first a quick overview and some bonus links if if you like.
R- recognize = choosing a focus.
O - ownership = identifying and removing obstacles
A - action steps = building the actual plan
D - dedication = maintaining the gain
I want to share a current journey I am taking down the Coaching ROAD. Many of you know I am working full-time at Bridges again. I am LOVING it, but it comes with some challenges as well. My office is in our home and I love that too, but honestly, I can lose steam during the day sometimes and I find myself doing other things instead of what I meant to be doing (I guess I am like the Apostle Paul in that way - see Romans 7).
Here is my embarrassing distraction disclosure list: daydreaming, (the dreaded) scrolling, making dinner, cleaning, working on something funner than what I need to be working on, texting, playing Township, calling my mom... Okay, some of them...
Tackling The "If Only" Hurdle (O in the Coaching ROAD)
What if you could see your "if only" as a hurdle not a closed gate?
What's an "if only"? I'm glad you asked!
"If only's" are the mental obstacles that come up when you think about forward movement.
In Coach Training we categorize them in past, present, and future. They sound like this:
Past: If only I...
- grew up in a different family.
- hadn't gone through that trauma.
- didn't make that decision.
Present: If only I...
- had more money.
- had more time.
- had better support.
Future: If only I...
- could meet with that one person.
- had a connection.
- could live there.
Here's the thing. "If only's" rob us of what could be. They are like a chasm; we can build bridges to get over them. "If only's" are excuses that have dug a rut in our thought patterns. They are the obstacles we come up against when we think about the goal we want to move toward.
We've been talking about the Coaching ROAD. First comes R- recognizing the focus we want to pursue. Next comes O - ownership. If...
Before We Move On...
Last time we talked about R for Recognition on the Bridges Coaching ROAD and how the Discernment plays a crucial role there. (If you missed it, here's the link.)
I feel compelled to go a little deeper before we move on.
Taking plenty of time to establish the "Why" of the chosen destination (read goal) of the ROAD you are going down should not be downplayed.
Consider your potential goal and ask some of these questions:
- What will it cost me to follow through and complete this?
- What will completing it give me?
- If I don't do it, what will that cost?
- Who else will "pay" for this choice? Is it worth it for them?
- Is now the right time?
- What makes this important to me?
- How could this affect other areas of my life?
- Is there anyone I should talk this through with?
Some of these questions were included in the "P's to knowing God's will worksheet" in the first blog, but for those who may not have downloaded it I felt they should be included.
Perhaps it would be...
The "D" Word: step One on the Bridges Coaching ROAD
In Bridges Coaching, we use a process called the ROAD. It is an acronym for moving forward. It begins with R for Recognition.
It all starts here. We can not move forward if we have not identified the goal. No one uses a GPS on a Sunday drive. Life is not simply a Sunday drive. God asks us to partner with Him toward the individual goals and personal destiny in mind for each of us.
There are two types of foci God wants us to move toward.
- Character development. This is the transformational process every believer should be intentionally partnering in, some would call it sanctification or discipleship. Character development includes focus on the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control and how we live them out in real life. It welcomes healthy interactions with others- believers and pre-believers, family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. It includes a regular practice of personal soul...
For Leaders* Only (*every believer is a leader)
That's right - every believer is a leader whether they realize it or not, whether they like it or not, people are looking to us to "show them the way".
Some of us may be in clear definable professional leadership positions, others are relational leaders - like parents, aunts or uncles, and grandparents, some of us are small group leaders, neighbors or co-workers. All of us who profess to be Jesus-followers are being observed by those around us.
There are two kinds of onlookers:
1) Pre-believers - they are people who do not yet follow Jesus. Hopefully, they expect us to be different, but likely in odd ways. Oftentimes pre-believers think that real Christians never have problems, should always be happy and at peace, and get along with everyone. (Even new believers sometimes think that should be the norm for their new life.)
Other times pre-believers think that Christians think they are holier than others and all they do is judge those who are not as "good" as they...
2 Options Rather Than Coaching
Coaching is actually an alternative word for discipleship. The foundations of coaching call for the person being coached to wisely choose a focus and then make quality action steps to move toward that end. Sounds like using our God-given free will wisely right?
There are two other options for interacting with people.
- We can tell them what to do.
Here are a few things about “telling”. There IS a place for it! When someone is young they need to be told things. You don’t work with a child discussing the values of whether they should make a goal about crossing the road safely - you just tell them, “You have to look both ways before you cross a street.”
When a believer is young, they need to be told/taught things. They need to learn about what it means to walk out your faith, the importance of having a quiet time, how to live in a God-honoring way.
But as they grow, they will come to decisions they NEED to make on their own. If we tell them what to do...
We ALL Do It! (But take heart...we can help with that!)
You know what I mean right?
We all "set" goals for the new year, or at the very least consider some things we would like to upgrade. Maybe yours are about physical things like working out or eating differently, or perhaps they are more ethereal things like reading more or journaling, or finally, maybe they are relational like calling family more or having people over for dinner.
Whatever you have been thinking of adding or deleting from your life change rarely happens without serious planning!
Intentionality is what Bridges Coaching is all about. It's even in our name - we help build Bridges to what could be - together! What could be in your life? What's the obstacle you need to build a bridge over?
If you need help choosing a worthy personal goal - we can help with that!
If you need assistance turning that goal into bite-sized actual steps - we can help with that!
If you need help maintaining your progress - we can help with that!
OR MAYBE YOU WANT TO HELP OTHERS - we...
Why Take Coach Training? (Isn't it just for professionals?)
It's a good question. By definition "Coach" training should be for coaches only - right?
Let's start there. What is a coach? The concept connects with moving from here to there - like the Old West stagecoach or Cinderella's coach. For our purposes, we use the word coach to mean helping a person get from where they are to the destination(goal) they choose.
When you think about coaching that way - Coach Training is really for anyone who wants to be conversationally helpful when talking to anyone else.
- Parents talking to children or adult children.
- Pastors discipline parishioners.
- Employers interacting with employees.
- Adult children dealing with aging or elderly parents.
- Small Group Leaders with their groups.
- Siblings. Friends. Family.
Really, any conversation can level up to being impactful with the conversational tools offered in coach training.
The two primary building blocks in any good Coach Training are Active Listening and Asking Powerful...
3 Kinds of Contemplative Question Ideas to Reflect and Connect!
New Years can be a time for reflection and connection. This practice can be powerful as it can direct your perspective to what matters most. It offers an opportunity for gratitude, makes space for a reality check, and, if done well, sheds light on the future God has for you.
Let's look at some questions that can help in each area.
But first, let's set you up for success:
- Decide how you will invest: on your own, with a partner, or with a group?
- Choose a time for contemplation. Maybe New Year's Eve is not the best time for reflection in your house, or maybe it is? Would New Year's Day work better or should you set a time not connected with the 31st or the 1st to think about what God has for your New Year.
- Then see yourself there reflecting. Where do you see this happening? In the car driving home from the holidays, at a coffee shop, in your living room, or at your kitchen table? It's good to choose a place where you are comfortable and undistracted.
...
The Great Commission IS Coaching?!
Matthew 28:19 is commonly referred to as the Great Commission. You know the verse,
"Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."
So - what's that got to do with Coaching?
Other versions of that verse say, "Go and make followers of all the people..."
What Disciples and Followers have in common is that they are not stagnant. Followers by definition take steps and the word disciple shares the same root as the word discipline.
Discipleship = forward movement. Being a disciple is not a one-time decision, it's a series of yes's as we connect with God and His pathway for our lives.
It's not easy though. Being a disciple, or follower, means being intentional about discerning and then moving toward whatever God has for us personally. It's hard sometimes.
While forgiveness and salvation are free to us, whatever God wants for our lives moving forward will likely involve a cost....